Post-Retreat Highlight
On May 17th, Buddhist Recovery Network (BRN) hosted a timely half-day virtual retreat as a response to the divisive time that we are currently in. We hosted participants from over 25 states in the U.S. and across the globe. Together we formed a sacred container for clarity, metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy/appreciative joy), and upekkha (equanimity). The uncertainty and external suffering of today’s world may make it difficult to maintain our practices in recovery. Many of us may turn to compulsion, whether in the mind or in our behavior, as a way to cope and survive. Our addictions, especially during a divisive climate, keep our hearts small and closed. Our teachers reminded us the core practices that can open our hearts and help us walk steadily and evenly on the path of recovery, despite the turbulence.
Since the retreat, the social-political climate has felt more uncertain and at times threatening. We are sending out a brief highlight of the teachings from the retreat as a fuel for the heart to continue your practice and spiritual resilience. There is no better time than now to develop our inner love and light so it may not be dimmed, so our hearts remain spacious and clear, so we can walk with ease and grace into the haunted ground.
We also announced during the retreat the launch of our new Safer Sangha page, where we promote ongoing resources to create safer Dharma spaces.
Our first teacher, Vimalasara, opened the retreat with a reminder that in challenging times, we turn to our practice for refuge and must expand our practice beyond the cushion. Vimalasara talked about compassion and that the opposite of compassion is cruelty, which is the mental state of the hell realm. Cruelty and ill-will arise during divisive times; we have seen this many times before and currently. However, even during war, it is possible to have love, joy, and compassion. They emphasized the importance of remembering joy in the midst of suffering. Mudita is what opens our heart. The opposite of mudita is resentment, the realm of hungry ghosts. Vimalasara shared about the possibility of losing equanimity in this era of global political unrest. However, they emphasized the importance of discerning where and how we are creating extra suffering by denying and rejecting reality or acting in disempowerment. There are changes in life and we, as humans, resist change; therefore we create suffering. Nonetheless, pain is inevitable in life but suffering is optional. When we slow down and have mental clarity, we can then see the optional suffering and we can have awareness to make a choice. Vimalasara invited us to ask ourselves, “how do we want to live the rest of our lives?” Our practices may include the clarity of mental states, meditation, yoga, mantra, nature, sleep, healthy diet, and limiting screen time or news intake if necessary. And take our practice into the world! Consider how we are engaged in our communities, the people we spend time with and what we are feeding our minds with. When asked about tensions with difficult family members who are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, Vimalasara gently encouraged the introspection of compassion and impermanence, suggesting that family members may take turn suffering depending on which political party is in power. They invited us to consider which realm of existence we are in (i.e., Hell, Hungry Ghosts, Animals, Humans, Demi-gods, and Gods) and return to the Dharma, the practice, the Remembrances, and the Brahma Viharas.
Thomas focused his offerings on metta and karuna. He echoed Vimalasra’s teachings and mentioned that his practice allows him to maintain mental clarity, which is without criticism, aversion, and judgment. Thomas cited Jimmy Hendrix, “sometimes we have to use fantasy in art to see different aspects of reality” and asked participants in the retreat how our creative process can support clarity. He then cited Kamala Harris who said, “I’m not foreign to an unlikely path.” Thomas took us on a story-telling journey of a young man who appeared tattered, was let down by the standards of the religious institution, had a heart of compassion, and deeply suffered. Thomas revealed with a picture of the Starry Night that the young man in his story was none other than Vincent Van Gogh, a man that did not find happiness through his art and his pursuit of happiness, a man that walked the unlikely path. We may have all experienced this feeling of rejection, exclusion, and being let down; it “puts a hole in your spirit.” Thomas asked us to reflect on how compassion can “support our way forward” and “redeem every aspect of our lives.” Van Gogh’s art and life taught Thomas that external validation is not needed, but metta for ourselves is needed. We need to always be on our own side.
Dalila began her teachings with a question, “How do upekkha and mudita lead to liberation in a world seeking to put us in chains?” She emphasized that the undefended heart is not the same as unprotected. Upekkha means allowing the experience, and it is not absent of emotions. There is a balance of joys and sorrows in upekkha. This acknowledges the wholeness of our humanity and emotions, preventing metta and karuna from being conditional. Shantideva’s definition of Upekkha is “walking evenly on uneven ground.” It is a balance of the Eight Worldly Concerns, and not grabbing for delusion and distraction. She asked, “How can I be in awe of all of life?” Dalila then cautioned the consumption of social media and a “cultural addiction to shock and outrage.” She highlighted the need to be aware when our hearts and minds are spiraling. The obsessions and compulsions of addictions are the hell realm. Upekkha is not a spiritual by-pass, because we’re recognizing what’s here. Dalila quoted Ruth King, “Life is not personal, not permanent, not perfect.” Mudita is rejoicing in the joy of others.The Brahma Viharas keep our hearts from being small and bitter. She mentioned that her practice includes not taking on the energy of oppression. She urged us to notice what delights us as we go through the day. Dalila talked about the importance of sangha for skills and practices. She cited a poem from an unnamed Hopi elder from the Hopi Nation in Oraibi, Arizona, “The time for the lone wolf is over……All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” There are also skillful lone wolves, but those who recall interdependence, and who contribute to Right Relationship with all beings when they return to community after being off and alone. On the topic of healthy boundaries, Dalila said boundaries are an expression of self-love and a form of Wise View. At the same time, metta can also mean not hurting someone. When we have difficult people or family members on our path, we can set boundaries for people to not be in our life, but remain in our hearts. Setting healthy boundaries is not ill-will. Dalila ended her teaching by asking, “How can I be in Right Relationship with myself?” And reminded us upekkha, “Right now, it’s like this…”
During her teaching, Dalila led us into an upekkha and mudita practice with phrases to repeat and resonate. You can view the upekkha and mudita phrases from the practice and the quotes from Dalila’s teachings below.
We are so grateful for those that participated in the retreat, our teachers, and our BRN team members. If you would like to support the ongoing work of BRN, please donate here.
Buddhist Recovery Network,
Safer Sangha Committee
Upekkha and Mudita Phrases from the Practice
A Brief for the Defense by Jack Gilbert (an excerpt)
But we enjoy our lives because that’s what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. …
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
….We must admit there will be music despite everything.
Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.
Prentis Hemphill
Boundaries give us the space to do the work of loving ourselves. They might be, actually, the first and fundamental expression of self-love. They also give us the space to love and witness others as they are, even those that have hurt us.
―Prentis Hemphill
You have to let go of the wanting to understand, you have to let go of wanting to possess the understanding and just be in that place.
— Dr. John Francis, environmentalist, when after witnessing an oil spill in San Francisco Bay he stopped using motorized vehicles and took a vow of silence lasting 22 and 17 years respectively
Part of being a revolutionary is creating a vision that is more humane. That is more fun, too. That is more loving. It’s really working to create something beautiful.
Assata Shakur
If you’re fucked up and you lead the revolution, you will have a fucked up revolution.
bell hooks
Our pain only doesn’t change if we refuse to look at it. But when we look at it, when we take it in our hands, when we can just be with it and keep breathing, then it turns. It turns to reveal its other face, and the other face of our pain for the world is our love for the world, our absolutely inseparable connectedness with all life.
Joanna Macy
“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered…
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”
“This could be a good time!”
“There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.
“Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
“The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”
— attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder
Hopi Nation, Oraibi Arizona
Mudita phrases
I am glad at your gladness
I appreciate your gladness
I rejoice in your gladness
I delight in your gladness
Equanimity phrases
I care about you, and also know this is how it is right now; I understand.
May I open to how it is [for you, in general] with balance and ease.
May my heart open with love, care, and respect to how it is right now.
May I/you find balance in the ever-changing conditions of life.
All things come and go; may I allow my joys and sorrows to flow with ease and balance.
This breath is like this… This thought is like this… This moment is just like this…
May I be able to care for and nurture myself so I can attend to the needs of others with generosity, balance, and presence.